Genesis 2:23-24

It's been a long time since my last blog, December 15, 2015!

I had hoped that by taking some time, I would feel different but it hasn't happened.

Genesis 2:23-24

23 Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”[i]

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

As a person, we can only endure so much before we explode. But as a Christian we tend to let things slid more easily.

So, hopefully this blog will help someone with what they are going through. It isn't my desire that anyone be seen as a villain but I can not deny God's work when He has a plan in your life.

When my husband and I were dating, his sister in law told his mother that we'd met at a bar - knowing how his mother despised "drinkers" and looked down on women picking up men in bars.

TRUTH: we were set up by mutual friends and had met a her apartment.

At my husbands family home - and this happened nearly every time I showed up to visit him - my husbands cousin, who then, was in a lesbian relationship - would come to the house, her "girlfriend" trying to talk to him alone or making crude gestures to him - funny how neither of them have EVER spoken one word to me - not ever! Keep that in mind.

TRUTH: I still have no idea what that was about, if only to deter me from him.

On nearly every occasion when I'd pick him up for a date, his sister in law would call him (after his own brother would leave her alone) with some emergency that only my husband could fix.

You see, we would alternate dating responsibilities. I worked two jobs and he worked long hours, six days a week, so we only went out once a week. I'd plan and pay one week, he'd plan and pay the next week.

Of course, I found this "emergency" arising as soon as I'd pick him up for a date happening on a regular basis.

TRUTH: at a party, at his own brothers house is when she made a move on him - her own brother in law and in front of me. That's when it all snapped into place for my husband and saw the bigger picture and what she was about.

Now, for the last 15 years, I have "endured" the gossip and the lying and the betrayal. I have put it aside for the unity of my husband's family. Only to discover his father, brother and sister in law making fun of me and my husband. Talking about both of us as if we were someone that they didn't like - AT ALL! They were speaking so loudly, we were in a different waiting area and heard them. My husband confronted them, no apologies, no excuses, no shame!

We over heard their conversation at the hospital, when his mother had surgery. His father acting as if my husband, who is the eldest of three, wasn't even there.

So, we left them alone. Simply hoping that conviction would grab them and we'd put it all behind us.

Then we heard something that made it all to clear why they didn't have remorse or conviction for their actions - their pastor visiting on a Sunday, he remarked that "I need to hurry up and be on my way to church, God won't show up if I'm not there!"

Well, that did it! If they were all following a pastor who was pretending to be their god, of course they wouldn't find fault in their ways because they weren't following God they were just following man.

So, like an ostrich, they have buried their heads in the sand for all these months. Not trying to communicate. Not responding to any messages. UNTIL, one day it suited them. Then, he gets a card from his gossiping brother - basically, "I'm sorry if you think I've done something to hurt you", type of apology.

Then a "family reunion" - the third one since October 2015, actually! Evidently, they used this time to "gossip" about us. Victims that they are, reduced to stalking us on Facebook.

I can only assume the reason people talk about others 1) their life is so dull they just don't have anything to say or 2) they are trying to deflect from the sin they are involved in.

I've tried to give time to heal my husbands heart. Encourage him to stand strong in Gods word, knowing that God's plan is so much better than ours. Even if you can't see it or your hurting so bad that you can't stand it or it seems useless - God does have a plan.

Then, I received a Facebook message from a "non Facebook friend" - the "used to be lesbian" cousin - yes! The one who has never spoken a word to me.

As she is obviously taking her frustrations out at me during her rant - accusing me being the only reason her cousin, my husband, has nothing to do with the family - how I am not a positive influence on his life - how much better my husbands life was, before me.......but wait! Oh, that's right! She hasn't talked to my husband in years. Even at family functions, she didn't speak to him and definitely not me. Now, she didn't contact my husband - who she is Facebook friends with.

Hhhhmmmm, this is starting to sound a lot like everyone is a victim of their own actions to me.

See, I am not a victim. My husband is not a victim. We accept responsibility for our actions. And, we are all to aware that not only do you answer for your actions and words in heaven but also the actions that you never took.

To sit by and allow wrong when you have the power or control to stop it - is wrong. To listen to gossip means that you allow it - is wrong. To criticize people for doing what they know God want's them to do, as the bible has defined it in scripture - I don't even want to think about what they does to a person!

This is the cold, hard, fact - for me: I am heartbroken for my husband. I can take nearly anything thrown at me but I can NOT take someone hurting him. I love him, he is a Godly man. He is my spiritual leader, man of his own house, my best friend and forgives easily, not prone to wrath, eager to see God's desire fulfilled in his life - above all things, that includes me!

I wish his "family" knew what a treasure he his. See, I never have denied that my husband is too good for me or better off without me - the devil tells me this since we met. But GOD chose me to be his wife - I have not doubt about this! HE has shown me this! I am better with him, not the other way around. My role as his wife is to be his "help mate" to be the guardian of his house - I don't take this role lightly! I am not only a help mate for him, I am a warrior! I hurt with him and for him. If I can take the pain, in his place, by all means - bring it!

Now, for me, I have endured so much at the hand of his "family" and put it aside for his sake and for so long. But when they started to attack my husbands character, the claws come out!

I haven't put all this out there to criticize or give reason for an ugly attitude or explain why I'm right because it is never "right" to hurt someone or make them feel unwanted or useless.

It's only for these reasons that I give the accounts listed above:

• We do not hate them, we choose to love them.
• We choose NOT to become part of the gossip or lies, we don't accept that as their character so we do not want to be a witness of their actions, regarding these facts.
• being confessed "Christians" and bad mouthing someone that you "love" is not a character of Christ Jesus. We don't want to be part of that either.
• the bible is clear, when you are a willing participant in sinful acts yet claim to be full of Christ, this makes you appear to be a hypocrite and destroys your testimony.

I would ask that you pray for us all during this time. I would encourage you, if you are in a similar situation - stand firm in faith and on God's word. It's only for a time that you shall endure.

Truly this is the very reason why testimonies are so difficult, at times. Because God uses all means necessary to get you into His plan.